I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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