i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
All I want is dick and wine.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize