Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
