I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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