bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
