i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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