I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.