Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.