i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Houston, we have a blender
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
