My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
not ubering you a puppy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
