I need help removing her.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
