ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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