I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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