I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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