About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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