i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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