Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
