Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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