Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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