didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
