Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
