Will you blow on my dice?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
