She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
