Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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