So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
