Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
