We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
