Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
