You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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