Please don't use social media to get back at me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
