i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
