So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
