I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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