I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
