You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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