i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My ass is underappreciated
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
