But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just cropdusted the office
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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