I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize