Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
