He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize