you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
