Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
