are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
