bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
