awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there was a trapeze. enough said
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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