Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
