She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize