Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
