we're blogging at a bar
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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