He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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