I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
