i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Everclear isn't food dammit