She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
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Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am available for nakedness
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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