your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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