Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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