I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
