You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
